funny isn’t it? how something you thought you wanted for so long can suddenly dim in comparison to something better? its late and i should be sleeping because i have to work early, but thoughts roll around my head and maybe its just time to put some of them down in writing. coming home was very anti-climactic. going back to work was near torture. but 3 people i love very much came all the way out to my store to see me. i felt so special. then a bunch of my friends planned a bon fire at my house and showed up with beers, cigars, and babies. yup. that combination. i guess it was just nice to feel loved after coming home from vacation. its nice to be missed. its nice to hold a sweet baby while he laughs and eats graham crackers. its nice to be with friends. and stare into bon fires. its also nice to realize that you want a lot of different things than you did before. that things you begged God for that you thought you needed or couldn’t live without don’t matter anymore. i’m feeling adventurous. i feel like i’ve seen and experienced things that are more than how i’m living my life now. more than my ideal. people always says God wants what is best for you. and i so often get frustrated with Him for not giving me what I want. but I guess on my vacation maybe I just got a little glimpse of how His gifts and blessings can be so much more than even my biggest desires. i want to want what God wants for me.(does that even make sense!?) i don’t ever want to set my sights low. when you see what God has for you, His plans, all your plans just look like junk. i don’t want any junk.

Well the 2nd wedding of the summer is over. My sister was the most beautiful bride and I now have an awesome brother-in-law. I have been away from home for 2 weeks and I have had the most amazing time. I have been hiking, tubing, swimming, walking, eating great food and meeting very special people. Becca put it just right when we were saying goodbye after the wedding. She said it was like we’ve been at camp for 2 weeks and have met so many new best friends and now we have to say goodbye and send them back to their far corners of the states. It was such a blessing to be down here and have so many people pour encouragement into my life. It has been hot and sunny and beautiful. The wedding was busy, don’t get me wrong, but we pulled it off. Everything was perfect. I didn’t get a ton of pics because I was in the wedding, but here are a few.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Becca has a lot more.
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/set=a.173102902822975.39960.104226126377320&type=1

I’m visiting with Josh & Bri in Atlanta until this evening and then I begin my long drive back to NY. Its bittersweet. I miss my puppy. And some friends. But being away has given me some new ideas. A thirst for adventure and seeing new things. I’m ready to begin this new chapter. So excited to see what God writes into the pages.

I’m up to my ears in weddings!

A wise woman once said “Those who can’t wed, plan”…well J Lo said that and i guess she’s not wise and haha ok, terrible quote, but that’s what I feel like is happening this summer! Weddings galore! Yay! Between sewing, painting, baking, painting, cookie making, crafting, cutting, pinning, gluing, … yeah…weddings.

Here are some photos of the 7 clutches and napkin holders I made for my friend Valissa’s wedding. It was a beautiful night and I was glad to be a part of it. I’m headed to North Carolina next for my sister’s wedding! So excited!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I can’t even put into words all that these past few weeks have been. My life has been a crazy conglomeration of weddings, working, not sleeping enough, crying, stressing, exercising, reading, and being completely unsure how to get a bajillion things done in a small amount of time.

I did a ton of wedding stuff, almost quit my job. Got in a fight with my boss. Ended up having to have a confrontational meeting with someone I work with. More wedding stuff. My grandpa got sick, so everyone was stressed about that. 600 cookies to make…(weddings)…lost 16 pounds, (yes 16) conflict with another person, had to have a confrontation with them also…I am TIRED!

If you know me at all you know how much I hate confrontation. Hate. Avoid. Do not do. At first I wanted to refuse. Cancel, not show up. Seriously, confrontation gives me anxiety. I think my stomach has been upset 6 out of the last 8 days.

But Hebrews has been kicking my butt this week. So much stuff about enduring discipline, keeping the faith even if you don’t see the promises fulfilled, and one verse popped out at me whilst reading yesterday: Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy, without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14

I had no desire to repair the relationships or show love to these people. I just wanted to walk away and never see or talk to them again. But I knew that was wrong. I knew I had to “make every effort to live in peace”…ugh!

Two confrontations later, I’m still alive. I stood up for myself, remained kind and professional, and with so much help from my Savior, patched things up the best I could. But it doesn’t stop there. The next verses gripped me and pulled me along. Because in confrontation it is SO easy to become bitter, resentful, unforgiving. I know when people wrong me or are mean to me, the farthest thing from my mind is kindness and forgiveness.

But yes, back to Hebrews: See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:1 No bitter root… Ah how quickly I am to become bitter. Why does it have to be SO hard? When people act wrongly towards me, I first of all internalize everything and don’t tell them how they are making me feel. But then, I let it fester inside of me and I become so bitter. And so hurt. I think these verses are some of the hardest for me to live out. Ok I can live at peace with people, but that bitter root…this will be something I need to work at.

Every. Single. Day.

So yeah, I haven’t posted a real post in forever, and this is a mash-up of what’s been going on. Things are a little crazy but they are winding down. In 5 days I hop in a rental car and drive down to North Carolina to spend 2 amazing weeks with my beautiful sis before she gets married! SO EXCITED. I’ll definitely be putting up pics of stuff I have made for all these weddings, just some things are surprises so I can’t talk about them yet!

I made this mousse for Kim’s shower. It was a HUGE hit. Everyone came back for seconds, maybe thirds, uhm…and yes fourths. It is so light and creamy and fresh and delicious. Not healthy at all, but definitely worth it!

Ingredients

1 (15-ounce) container whole milk ricotta cheese (drained overnight. I wrapped it in cheesecloth and put in a strainer in the fridge)
1/2 cup raspberry jam
1 cup whipping cream
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
1 cup fresh raspberries

Directions

There is a restaurant in Chicago called Big Bowl. I went there with my sister, Allie, and this wonderful older woman named Suzanne. My sister used to work for her and she was just fabulous. Ok, so Big Bowl is a great thai/chinese restaurant and I have no idea what I ate there, but they had homemade ginger ale and it was simply to die for. Whenever I go back, even if we aren’t eating there, I walk in and order ginger ale to go from the bar. (I’m sure no one else ever does that!) It is fresh and not too sweet and super gingery. Delicious! I’ve never had anything like it. Until the other day. I was visiting my brother at his new bar, The Next Door Bar & Grill, and he handed me a drink and didn’t tell me what it was. Ginger ale. Homemade. DELICIOUS! Just like Big Bowl. So Good! So of course I freaked out, drank it so fast, asked him how he made it, demanded the recipe, and decided to make it right away.

Its super easy, an I’m still tweaking the recipe. My brother really helped me with it so he might have some more input, but here’s what I’ve got so far.

Ginger Simple Syrup

1 C sugar
1 C water
1 large fresh ginger root (about 2 C rough chopped)
a few cloves
small cinnamon stick
pinch of cardamom

Put all ingredients into a saucepan and simmer for about 1 hour. Stir occasionally. Store in a jar or airtight container.

Ginger Ale

1 small can club soda
4 T ginger simple syrup
6 ice cubes
tall glass

In a large glass combine soda, ginger simple syrup, and ice. Stir. Enjoy! You can add a few fresh mint or basil leaves if you like a tad of savoriness.