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To Ohio

23 Thursday Feb 2012

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I left Louisiana on the rail line, oo oo
I left Louisiana on the rail line, oo oo
I was trying to get to Ohio
Trying to get to Ohio

Lost my love before her time, oo oo
Lost my love before her time, oo oo
On the way to Ohio On the way to Ohio

Now every new love is just a shadow, oo oo
Every new love is just a shadow, oo oo

‘Cause once you’ve known love you don’t know how to find love, oo oo
Yeah once you’ve found love you don’t know how to find new love
All the way to Ohio All the way to Ohio

Heard her voice come through the pines in Ohio
I heard her voice singing in the pines in Ohio

She sang bless your soul you crossed that line to Ohio
Bless your soul you crossed that line oo oo
All the way to Ohio
All the way to Ohio
The Low Anthem 

I’m leaving in the morning to go to Ohio to visit my good friend Allie. We have been friends since around sixth grade and I love that we still get together once in a while. She used to live at Moody Bible Institute and I loved going to visit her in Chicago. Now she is married to a great guy, Joel, and they moved to Ohio. Her sister Jenny and I are headed out tomorrow. First stop Chic-Fil-A! So excited for a really fun weekend and some restful time away. We’re on our way Al! 

p.s. why would anyone write a song about ohio??

Center

21 Tuesday Feb 2012

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“You cannot love a fellow-creature fully till you love God.”
~ C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce

You’re the center of the universe
Everything was made in You Jesus
Breath of every living thing
Everyone was made for You

You hold everything together
You hold everything together

Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives

We lift our eyes to heaven
We wrap our lives around your life
We lift our eyes to heaven, to You

~ Charlie Hall ~

There is a thread that has been running through my days lately. I wonder, if you fully love God would all others fade away? Or would you begin to truly love them as God does? How would my life be different if I loved God so much more than I love anyone else? I just underlined this quote in a book I am reading, “Realizing that all your needs are truly met in Christ will keep you from expecting too much from others.”

Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose. ~ C.S. Lewis

How often I do this. I put all my hope in people and expect so much from them and because everyone is sinfully human, they usually let me down. And every time someone lets me down, I get so, so hurt. It’s also not fair. I am holding them to standards that are impossible for them to meet.  Mark Driscoll recently said “When your identity is rooted in Christ, you get to stop using people and start loving them”.

“There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him.” ~ C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce

I know this is a rather disjointed post. My mind is all over the place right now. I have really really been trying to apply this to my life though. There are people who I love SO so so much and I always hope and pray that they will realize how much I love them and begin to treat me better in return, and it never works out quite that way. So I think God is slowly turning me around and beginning to show me that I will never love people the right way OR get the love I desire from them in return UNTIL I am fully in love with Him.

I just finished reading The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis (hence all the quotes from that book) I loved it and I especially loved the end. A woman in heaven is talking to the man she was married to on earth. He is living in hell and she is trying to explain to him why he should choose a different way of life. THE way of LIFE.

‘What needs could I have,’ she said, ‘now that I have all? I am full now, not empty. I am in Love Himself, not lonely. Strong, not weak. You shall be the same. Come and see. We shall have no need for one another now; we can begin to love truly.’ ~ C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce

I step out into a new day (since its 12:07 am) and I am PRAYING that God will show me how to love him MORE that I love others. I want to be fully in love with Him. I want Him to be the bottom of my joy and I want to begin to love truly.

One last quote from a favorite movie that I think sums it all up quite well…

Marilla Cuthbert: You set your heart too much on frivolous things and then crash down into despair when you don’t get them.
Anne Shirley: I know. I can’t help flying up on the wings of anticipation. It’s as glorious as soaring through a sunset… almost pays for the thud.
Marilla Cuthbert: Well, maybe it does. But I’d rather walk calmly along and do without flying AND thud

when a heart breaks

15 Wednesday Feb 2012

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Woke up this morning
And I heard the news
I know the pain of a heartbreak
I don’t have answers
And neither do you
I know the pain of a heartbreak

This isn’t easy
This isn’t clear
And you don’t need Jesus
Til you’re here
Then confusion and the doubts you had
Up and walk away
They walk away
When a heart breaks

I heard the doctor
But what did he say
I knew I was fine about this time yesterday
I don’t need answers
I just need some peace
I just need someone who could help me get some sleep
Who could help me get some sleep

This isn’t easy
This isn’t clear
And you don’t need Jesus
Til you’re here
Then confusion and the doubts you had
Up and walk away
They walk away
When a heart breaks

This isn’t easy
This isn’t clear
And you don’t need Jesus
Til you’re here
Then confusion and the doubts you had
Up and walk away
They walk away
When a heart breaks

~Ben Rector~

Valentine’s day

14 Tuesday Feb 2012

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Song of Solomon 8:6 
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

 
That’s one of my favorite verses. Love is as strong as death. Isn’t that powerful? I love Valentine’s day. I’m not one to mope and cry because I have no valentine. Out of 30 Valentine’s days, I have had a valentine for 2 of them. Not sure I’m proud to be admitting that…
I don’t love all the mushiness and silly cards and spending tons of money for flowers, expensive dinners, and gifts no one really cares about. Sometimes I feel like Valentines day is just a day to make people feel guilty like they are forced to do something for the person they are with and it’s not done out of love, but out of necessity or obligation. But I love making fancy desserts and chocolates and showing the people close to me how much I love them. To me it’s not a day to be sad about not having someone special, it’s a day to show all the people in my life just how special they are. 
To-morrow is Saint Valentine’s day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn’d his clothes,
And dupp’d the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.
—William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5

each day

11 Saturday Feb 2012

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Interesting that my life has become about blog posts. I think, what did I do or learn today that I can turn into a positive lesson and form into a blog post? Is that weird? Maybe. But it is also forcing me to look at each day and tear it apart and see the events that formed me. What about today made me stop and think? What was a lesson I learned or SHOULD have learned? How did I apply the sermon from Sunday or in what way did conversations at small group force me to live out today differently. I suppose blogging has forced me to live more analytically. But, I am finding that it does feel as if life has a bit more purpose when you are always looking for opportunities grow and lessons to learn. So think about it: It doesn’t have to be huge or monumental, just a trinket that you pulled out of the day that brought you closer to God or to a friend or inspired you to be a better person. What have you done today that would be worthy of a blog post?

Chasing pirates

10 Friday Feb 2012

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Just a normal day today…worked at Starbucks all day. Then stayed even longer to cover for someone else. Then stayed even longer to wait for some girls to come meet me for dinner. When it’s all over I was in Pittsford for 14 hours today. Slightly ridiculous. But so the point of this…In small group we were talking about Pi2 (Pray, Invest, Invite) and we were focusing on investing. And we talked a lot about how we are investing in the lives of the people we have contact with every day. And the more I thought about it the more I was convicted. At my last store I knew everyone I worked with. Too well. I knew everything about their lives, I went out with them, hung out at their houses, met them at Javas etc. I knew them. I invested in their lives. I invited several of them to church. But my new store…I don’t know them at all. Sure I come in, have a blast with them at work, and then leave. But I don’t know who they really are. And the customers…Dude, Pittsford people are so snotty and they are so hard to converse with. Most of the time they are on their phones and don’t give you the time of day. So this week I was challenged to INVEST. First step. Ask girls to go out to dinner. (Girls always like to eat) And it was fun! Not a huge step in any direction, but I know them a tiny bit better and I think it’s the beginning of a great investment! So yeah, I was in Pittsford for 14 hours, but I think it was time well spent.

Love is waiting…

08 Wednesday Feb 2012

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In the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories – whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you

I’ll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it’s time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

It’s my caution not the cold
there’s no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, I’m singing for the strangers about you
don’t keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you’re my man

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summer’s start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart

~Brooke Fraser~

Song for dogs

08 Wednesday Feb 2012

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Today was a horrible bad no good day. But a friend said something that I thought was really wise. “I don’t know why God chose to allow you to be in this position, but I know He’s not surprised by this. Trust Him and you’ll be fine”. And isn’t it so true? God wasn’t surprised by my situation even though I WAS! And I keep wondering why I get in the middle of all these situations that I try to avoid, and maybe that’s just it. God chooses to allow me to be in them. WHY? I have no idea. But I do hope that I am learning and growing from each and every situation.

Spend my life

06 Monday Feb 2012

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If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.

Isaiah 58:10 & 11

The question I asked myself after reading this passage was: how am I “spending” myself? Other versions say “draw out your soul”, “pour yourself out”, or “give yourself”.

One commentary explains it this way: “The Septuagint express both words, τον αρτον εκ της ψυχης σου, “thy bread from thy soul.” To draw out the soul in relieving the poor, is to do it, not of constraint or necessity, but cheerfully, and is both nervous and elegant. His soul pities and his hand gives.” Isn’t that poetic?

The bread of your soul…How am I spending the bread of my soul? Do I satisfy the needs of the hungry and oppressed? Do I satisfy the needs of anyone?! Because I certainly want my light shining in the darkness. I want the Lord to guide me always, satisfy my needs and give me strength! It is such a challenge to say IF you are giving of yourself and if you are giving CHEERFULLY, God will BLESS you! And also how simple. Anyone can do this. Anyone can give with a cheerful heart.

Just something to think about on this sunny January day. How are you spending yourself, and are you doing it cheerfully?