you’re not alone
24 Thursday Jul 2014
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Gluten-free Blueberry Muffins
18 Friday Jul 2014
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Two of my brother-in-law’s younger brothers are staying with me this month. They are from Washington and came to help Colton with work and just hang out in Asheville for the summer. They’re staying with me because I have two bathrooms (which is amazing!) and because with a new baby, my sister and B-I-L thought it would be easier this way. Which it is. And its great because they’re awesome kids and we’ve been having a blast already. One of them is celiac, so I have been filling my house with gluten-free goodness. This morning I whipped up these muffins for their snacks at work. They actually came out quite good. I under baked them a little, so the centers were a little mushy. But they still tasted great!
INGREDIENTS
2 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour (I used 1/4 of coconut, rice, almond, and sorghum flour)
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder (I only had baking soda and they came out ok)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted and cooled (I used 1/2 cup softened coconut oil)
1/2 cup coconut milk
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons grated lemon zest
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups Blueberries (I had bought fresh organic blueberries and froze them, so that’s what I used)
- Pre heat oven to 375°F. Lightly butter or grease a 12-cup muffin pan or line with paper liners.
- Stir together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl until blended. Whisk together butter, milk, eggs, lemon zest and vanilla in a large bowl until combined. Stir in flour mixture until partially moistened. Fold in blueberries until evenly mixed. Batter will be thick, do not over stir.
- Divide batter evenly between muffin cups, filling each about three-fourths full.
- Bake 10 minutes. Rotate pan and continue to bake about 10 minutes longer or until muffins are golden brown and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan 3 minutes. Serve warm or remove to wire rack to cool completely.
Annabel Lee
14 Monday Jul 2014
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This week we went to explore Charleston, South Carolina. It is a beautiful old town, with colorful stucco buildings, cobblestone streets, and old churches. There is so much history in Charleston. One of my favorite things was a graveyard at an old Unitarian church. It is left overgrown on purpose and is said to be haunted by the ghost of Annabel Lee.
Local legend tells the story of a sailor who met a woman named Annabel Lee. Her father disapproved of the pairing and the two met privately in a graveyard. Before the sailor’s time stationed in Charleston was up, Annabel’s father locked her away so that she could no longer see him. While the sailor was away at sea, he heard of Annabel’s death from yellow fever, but her father would not allow him at the funeral. Her father buried her in the family plot underneath another grave and had no marker put there so the sailor could never find her. Because he did not know her exact burial location, the sailor instead kept vigil in the cemetery.
There is no evidence that Edgar Allan Poe had heard of this legend, but locals insist it was his inspiration for this poem, especially considering Poe was briefly stationed in Charleston while in the army in 1827. I just love old legends. We explored the whole cemetery and found the graves of the rest of the Lees. Perhaps Annabel is really buried beneath one of them…
Annabel Lee
By Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
life keeps moving on
19 Thursday Jun 2014
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Or I keep moving on…
These past 2 years have been a whirlwind… I moved to Kansas City, I moved back to NY, my grandpa passed away, we got injured in the bombing, I lived in Boston for a month, moved back home with my parents, lost my job, have been in PT 3 days a week for over a year, and next week…I am moving to North Carolina. Insane. My life is insane.
I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you this in person. I am sad to leave. I am going to miss Northridge Church and all my friends and favorite places. Fuego, Javas, Esan…I’ll have to find new coffee shops and Thai food. But I am excited for this next chapter. I have my own apartment. It has two bedrooms, so I am expecting LOTS of visitors! Come anytime!
My sister is having a baby within the next few days, and I am looking forward to living near her and getting to know my niece and being able to spend more time with my sis and brother-in-law. I’m moving to the mountains. It is beautiful. I can’t wait to explore and see places I’ve never seen.
I know its huge. I’m super stressed out. My body hates me. A huge prayer request is that my back would not freak out anymore and that my stress/anxiety would dissipate. I have so much to do this next week before I leave and it is so frustrating being in constant pain and not being able to lift boxes and move things around. I am not very good at asking for help!
This is a very disjointed post, but I just wanted to let everyone know and to say goodbye and I love you. NY is my home. It always will be I think. People closest to my heart are here. I have been so blessed and so loved. Most of my memories are here. I will miss it desperately.
I WILL NOT MISS THE WINTER AND SNOW.
Also, I will have Chick-fil-a whenever I want.
Also, come visit me!
Goodbye NY!
The goal is to please God
19 Thursday Jun 2014
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I just read the last Narnia book, The Last Battle. I usually read all those books every year, and I just love the last one when they finally all get to “heaven” and get to stay with Aslan forever. This time it just really made me sad. I think since the bombing, since I am in so much constant pain, I am SO ready to get to heaven. I was jealous of all the Narnians being able to finally get to the New Narnia! What a wonderful day that will be!
“And of course it is different; as different as a real thing is from a shadow or as waking life is from a dream…Its as hard to explain how this sunlit land was different from the old Narnia as it would be to tell you how the fruits of that country taste. Perhaps you will get some idea of it if you think like this. You may have been in a room in which there was a window that looked out on a lovely bay of the sea or a green valley that wound away among mountains. And in the wall of that room opposite to the window there may have been a looking-glass. And as you turned away from the window you suddenly caught sight of that sea or that valley, all over again, in the looking glass. And the sea in the mirror, or the valley in the mirror, were in one sense just the same as the real ones; yet at the same time they were somehow different – deeper, more wonderful, more like places in a story; in a story you have never heard but very much want to know. It was the Unicorn who summed up what everyone was feeling. He stamped his right fore-hoof on the ground and neighed, and then cried: “I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this!” “Isn’t it wonderful?” said Lucy. “Have you noticed one can’t feel afraid, even if one wants to? Try it.”
And then she forgot everything else, because Aslan himself was coming…
He said “The term is over; the holidays have begun. The dream is ended; this is the morning.”
Lucky people! “The dream is ended; this is the morning.” How beautiful! I just didn’t know what to do with this sadness and desire, and i found myself thinking, what would David tell me I should do when I’m feeling like this? And what came to mind was “If the goal of your life is to please God, what do you need to do right now?” (Equip classes have brainwashed me 😉 And I thought, sure that’s good, please God…but there’s got to be a better answer.
What did people in the bible do when they were longing for heaven? So I started looking up verses. And I read a bunch and finally came to 2 Corinthians 5:8-9 “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him…”
And I put down my bible and said “UGH!” out loud. Haha. All that digging and searching for verses and it comes right back to David’s quote…”If the goal of your life is to please God, what do you need to do right now?” I love that I can dig and dig and still come back to truths I am taught at my church. It’s so encouraging to know that everything I am being taught is right out of the bible and so on track. I still long for heaven. I still long for my pain to go away. For my leg to be healed. To be able to walk normally and do all the things I used to. But I am trying hard to please God. Every day. And while I am longing to be “home”, I know there is a reason I am still here.
2 Corinthians 5
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, 3 if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. 4 For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. 6 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.
Hebrews 11:14
For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. 15 If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.
“All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page; now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read; which goes on for ever; in which every chapter is better than the one before…”
The Last Battle C.S. Lewis
Italian Cream Cupcakes (Pioneer Woman)
25 Sunday May 2014
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This weekend we had a small group picnic at the park. we had tons of food. Tons.
We grilled, ate, soaked up the sun, played kan jam, played with the puppies and ate some more. Amazing.
This is Jack. He’s the cutest.
I made Italian Cream Cupcakes. Oh. My. Goodness. Seriously. They were SO good. I even messed up the recipe and they were still delicious. I will definitely be making them again. Seriously. Try them.
Italian Cream Cupcakes
Ingredients
- CUPCAKES
- 5 whole Eggs, Separated
- 1/2 cup Butter, Softened
- 1 cup Vegetable Oil
- 1 cup Sugar
- 1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract
- 1 cup Sweetened, Flaked Coconut
- 2 cups All-purpose Flour
- 1 teaspoon Baking Soda
- 1 teaspoon Baking Powder
- 1 cup Buttermilk
- Icing
- 2 packages (8 Ounces Each) Cream Cheese, Softened
- 1/2 cup Butter, Softened
- 2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract
- 2 pounds Powdered Sugar
- 1 cup Finely Chopped Pecans
- 1 cup Sweetened, Flaked Coconut
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray muffin pans (regular or mini) with nonstick baking spray OR line with paper cupcake liners.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the egg whites they’re stiff. Transfer to another bowl and set aside; clean the mixing bowl and return to the mixer.
Combine the butter, vegetable oil, and sugar in the mixing bowl and mix until light and fluffy. Add the egg yolks and vanilla, the beat until smooth. Add 1 cup of coconut and beat to combine.
Sift together the flour, baking soda, and baking powder in a bowl, then alternate adding the flour mixture with the buttermilk, mixing for a few seconds after each addition. Add the egg whites and use a rubber spatula to fold them into the batter. Add batter to the muffin cups, the bake for 13-14 minutes, or until golden brown on top. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely.
To make the frosting, whip together the butter and cream cheese until smooth, then sift the powdered sugar and mix it in until combine. Add the vanilla and mix. Add 1 cup of coconut and the pecans, reserving a small amount of pecans for garnish. Mix until totally combined.
Frost cooled cupcakes, then sprinkle extra pecans on top. Refrigerate cupcakes if not serving right away (frosting will soften at room temperature.)
Recipe from The Pioneer Woman
400 days
20 Tuesday May 2014
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May 20th
400 days
The doctors said it would take 400 days to know if the surgeries worked. If my leg would work again. If I would walk. If I would ever feel anything. If I would be able to move my ankle and toes.
400 days.
Well time is up. Its been 400 days. It seems like it should be a huge milestone, but I’m sitting in a coffee shop and life is going on around me as normal. I don’t feel different today than I did yesterday. I don’t know what I expected of my 400 days. I think I expected that it would arrive and I would be back to normal. But that isn’t the case. I’m not normal. I don’t think my leg feels more than it did yesterday. I can feel things all the way down to my toes: if I rub it really hard or spray water from the shower on it. But it is by no means normal. I can go some days without wearing my brace, which is awesome, but it gives me a more defined limp and I walk much slower. My ankle is getting stronger, but my calf is still non-existent. I don’t think it will ever come back to what it was before. I still have a lot of pain there.
Today should be the ending of my book. TODAY IS THE END! I mean it’s not really the end of anything. It’s just the end of my 400 days. But that’s what I wanted my book to be about. This blog post should be a summary. It is my final chapter. The conclusion of my book. What do I want my conclusion to be. What is the takeaway? What have I learned in these 400 days? I don’t know. I just don’t. I don’t know how to put it into words. But I need to. That’s the point right? The point of writing a book. Is that I can put into words what I am learning. What I have learned.
I have learned that I am still telling an old story about who I am. After reading Shauna’s blog: Getting Out of a Life Rut, I realized I read the whole thing completely agreeing. Yes, that’s who I am. The chubby, funny girl. The sidekick. I am telling an old story about myself. That’s not who I want to be anymore. In The Holiday, Kate Winslet’s character, Iris, comes to the same realization when talking to her neighbor, Arthur.
Arthur: Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Iris: You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life! Arthur, I’ve been going to a therapist for three years, and she’s never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.
This bomb should change my life. I should be changed. I should stop telling that old story. It isn’t who I am anymore. I think that’s a lot of what these 400 days were about. I should have used them more wisely. I should have figured this out before day 400. Have I essentially wasted 400 days of my life? Or have all these days been the culmination of this learning curve?
I need to start living the life I want to have. I can’t keep moping around waiting for something to happen to me. I need to stop acting like the best friend and start being a leading lady.
Allison Vesterfelt wrote a great blog post called Don’t Wait to be Invited to Your Life. She tells a story about how as a child she was always left out and was always waiting to be invited to things, while other children always seemed to be invited and included. But she realized it was because they were constantly putting themselves out there.
“They didn’t need someone to tell them they were good at wall ball, or that they were a great writer, or that they deserved a happy marriage. They already believed those things were true. And because they believed that, they put themselves in the game. They played with a sort of abandon. They got better and better.
I don’t need an invitation. Neither do you. What we need is a little more moxie, a little more guts. We we need is a willingness to know what we want. What we need is to practice, practice, practice—and to make a little room for ourselves on the court. “
I can’t keep waiting to be invited. I can’t keep waiting for something to HAPPEN in my life. I need to start living the life I want and I need to start being the person I want to be. I need to stop telling that old story about myself. I’ve had 400 days. As this concluding chapter closes, how am I going to change my story for the next 400?
How will you?
France Day 10
10 Saturday May 2014
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The last day! We sailed to the town of Tarascon and explored the town in the pouring rain and crazy winds.
Everyone had umbrellas from the boat, but the wind was getting the better of them. As we wandered the deserted town we saw abandoned umbrellas everywhere. Laying dejected on the sidewalks.
Tarascon has winds called Black Mistral winds, meaning fierce mistral winds accompanied by pouring rain. They have mistral winds 100 days a year in Tarascon. We braved these winds and walked all over the city. Very few shops were open. We finally found a little cafe and got some pastries and espresso and sat with some other friends from the boat before venturing back out into the rain.
Tarascon has a saint called Saint Martha. Her story is one of the most awesome stories about saints we had ever heard. There was a monster in Southern France called the Tarasque. It was a sort of dragon with a lion’s head, six short legs like a bear’s, an ox-like body covered with a turtle shell, and a scaly tail that ended in a scorpion’s sting. It ravaged cities and no one could kill it. When Saint Martha arrived in Tarascon she about the Tarasque, went to it and tamed it by singing hymns and prayers to it. She then brought it back to the city where the people, who were still terrified of the beast, killed it. Martha made them feel horrible for killing a tamed beast and converted many of the to Christianity. Crazy.
That night we played cards and hung out with all our friends on the boat. No one wanted to pack or think about saying goodbye! We stayed up late, drinking French wine, coffee, and feasting on macaroons, cheeses and other delicious snacks we had purchased but didn’t want to pack into our suitcases. In the morning we were separated by color, put onto busses, and taken to the airport in Marseilles. I flew to Boston with Kim and Colton, and then home to NY with mom and dad. What an unforgettable trip. So many amazing memories and so many great new friendships. We will never forget! We are all Boston Strong!
France Day 9
10 Saturday May 2014
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We were up at out again by 8:30. We headed to Pont du Gard, an old Roman aqueduct built about 2000 years ago sometime between 40-60 AD. It was an amazing structure. The total aqueduct system was 31 miles long when it was originally built. It carried water from Uzes to Nimes and brought about 44,000,000 gallons of water a day.
There were also amazing olive trees around it that are believed to be 1000 years old. They were so beautiful, twisted and gnarly.
We walked across the bridge of the aqueduct and spent some time exploring the area.
We then boarded the busses and headed to a tiny medieval town called Uzes. Built sometime in the 5th century, with an enclosed courtyard in the center to fortify it. There was a beautiful fountain in the middle. The whole town looked like it was straight out of the Three Musketeers. You could picture Dumas’ sitting at a cafe writing the Musketeers into life, picturing them fencing around the courtyard.
At night we wandered again around Avignon. It was very rainy, but we made the most of it. Tomorrow is the last day!
France Day 8
09 Friday May 2014
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A friend in Boston reminded me that I never finished blogging about our trip to France! I got distracted. So sorry!
Day 8! We got up early ate quickly and were all on the bus by 8:30am. So much for sleeping in on vacation! We drove through a town named Orange to Chateauneuf-du-pape. On the way we stopped at a Triumph gate and an old theater that were built by the Romans.
When we arrived in Chateauneuf-du-pape, we went to a winery for a wine and chocolate tasting. We had dark chocolate with thyme and another with rosemary. Paired with crisp white wine and smooth reds, oh my gosh SO good! It was the best wine tasting I have ever been to.
We went from there to a castle ruin that the pope built a long time ago. It was beautiful. So awesome to see things that were built so long ago. We found an olive tree with olives so we picked some.
We left the castle and the bus took us to a huge vineyard. French vineyards are so interesting. The ground is covered with rocks that came from the Rhone river. The plants are kept very small and short which is so different from American vineyards. The smaller vines allow them produce less quantity, better a much better quality grape.
We picked some grapes that had been left on the vines. Yummy!
The boat was stuck in a lock so we came back to the boat and had lunch and waited to get through. We napped all afternoon as we sallied to Avignon. Avignon is a walled city. It looks so medieval. I expected there to be a moat. After dinner we wandered the city for a little while. Nothing was open. The French towns are all so deserted at night. Barely anything open. No people wandering around. It was so odd. But we explored for a while and then went back to the boat. Ready for a new day of adventures!
Gina DiMartino 
