I can’t even put into words all that these past few weeks have been. My life has been a crazy conglomeration of weddings, working, not sleeping enough, crying, stressing, exercising, reading, and being completely unsure how to get a bajillion things done in a small amount of time.

I did a ton of wedding stuff, almost quit my job. Got in a fight with my boss. Ended up having to have a confrontational meeting with someone I work with. More wedding stuff. My grandpa got sick, so everyone was stressed about that. 600 cookies to make…(weddings)…lost 16 pounds, (yes 16) conflict with another person, had to have a confrontation with them also…I am TIRED!

If you know me at all you know how much I hate confrontation. Hate. Avoid. Do not do. At first I wanted to refuse. Cancel, not show up. Seriously, confrontation gives me anxiety. I think my stomach has been upset 6 out of the last 8 days.

But Hebrews has been kicking my butt this week. So much stuff about enduring discipline, keeping the faith even if you don’t see the promises fulfilled, and one verse popped out at me whilst reading yesterday: Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy, without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14

I had no desire to repair the relationships or show love to these people. I just wanted to walk away and never see or talk to them again. But I knew that was wrong. I knew I had to “make every effort to live in peace”…ugh!

Two confrontations later, I’m still alive. I stood up for myself, remained kind and professional, and with so much help from my Savior, patched things up the best I could. But it doesn’t stop there. The next verses gripped me and pulled me along. Because in confrontation it is SO easy to become bitter, resentful, unforgiving. I know when people wrong me or are mean to me, the farthest thing from my mind is kindness and forgiveness.

But yes, back to Hebrews: See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:1 No bitter root… Ah how quickly I am to become bitter. Why does it have to be SO hard? When people act wrongly towards me, I first of all internalize everything and don’t tell them how they are making me feel. But then, I let it fester inside of me and I become so bitter. And so hurt. I think these verses are some of the hardest for me to live out. Ok I can live at peace with people, but that bitter root…this will be something I need to work at.

Every. Single. Day.

So yeah, I haven’t posted a real post in forever, and this is a mash-up of what’s been going on. Things are a little crazy but they are winding down. In 5 days I hop in a rental car and drive down to North Carolina to spend 2 amazing weeks with my beautiful sis before she gets married! SO EXCITED. I’ll definitely be putting up pics of stuff I have made for all these weddings, just some things are surprises so I can’t talk about them yet!

I made this mousse for Kim’s shower. It was a HUGE hit. Everyone came back for seconds, maybe thirds, uhm…and yes fourths. It is so light and creamy and fresh and delicious. Not healthy at all, but definitely worth it!

Ingredients

1 (15-ounce) container whole milk ricotta cheese (drained overnight. I wrapped it in cheesecloth and put in a strainer in the fridge)
1/2 cup raspberry jam
1 cup whipping cream
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
1 cup fresh raspberries

Directions

There is a restaurant in Chicago called Big Bowl. I went there with my sister, Allie, and this wonderful older woman named Suzanne. My sister used to work for her and she was just fabulous. Ok, so Big Bowl is a great thai/chinese restaurant and I have no idea what I ate there, but they had homemade ginger ale and it was simply to die for. Whenever I go back, even if we aren’t eating there, I walk in and order ginger ale to go from the bar. (I’m sure no one else ever does that!) It is fresh and not too sweet and super gingery. Delicious! I’ve never had anything like it. Until the other day. I was visiting my brother at his new bar, The Next Door Bar & Grill, and he handed me a drink and didn’t tell me what it was. Ginger ale. Homemade. DELICIOUS! Just like Big Bowl. So Good! So of course I freaked out, drank it so fast, asked him how he made it, demanded the recipe, and decided to make it right away.

Its super easy, an I’m still tweaking the recipe. My brother really helped me with it so he might have some more input, but here’s what I’ve got so far.

Ginger Simple Syrup

1 C sugar
1 C water
1 large fresh ginger root (about 2 C rough chopped)
a few cloves
small cinnamon stick
pinch of cardamom

Put all ingredients into a saucepan and simmer for about 1 hour. Stir occasionally. Store in a jar or airtight container.

Ginger Ale

1 small can club soda
4 T ginger simple syrup
6 ice cubes
tall glass

In a large glass combine soda, ginger simple syrup, and ice. Stir. Enjoy! You can add a few fresh mint or basil leaves if you like a tad of savoriness.

This week Donald Miller said “My main advice to young writers: Memorize poetry. As much as you can. It teaches an economy of words”. So I burrowed through all my delicious old books and dug up two regal books of poetry. It does indeed teach an economy of words. There are so many words that I don’t even understand. Things we don’t use in everyday English anymore. But they are beautiful. Ballads and sonnets…love stories and tragedies. People’s hearts poured out onto page.

Tis fiction’s to dilute
To plausibility

Frequently the woods are pink
Frequently are brown

concisest, repudiates, epaulette, marauding, vestments, rudiment, bernardine, and so on…  beautiful, enshrined in mystery and oozing with art. Poems do a lot more than teach an economy of words. But if DM says to memorize some…i guess I’m on my way.

Sonnet

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts to-night, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.

Thus in the winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

It’s time for mother’s day. Well mother’s month…my mom’s birthday is next week so it’s always; what do we get for mother’s day, and then what do we get for her birthday, and the answer is always garden stuff, because its spring, and because she spends most of her time elbow deep in mulch and plants. Not that I’m complaining, our yard is an agricultural masterpiece. If there’s anyone with a green thumb its my mother.

So, for gifts this mother’s day I have purchased a really cool teepee trellis thing-a-ma-jig…and some garden gloves. This may sound boring to some people, but my mother will be thrilled.

For the rest of us, we’re more concerned about Mother’s Day brunch. This means Gina makes lots of good food and everyone else eats it. And hopefully Peter shows up with fresh squeezed oj to make mimosas!

Yesterday was market day so of course I bought the bounty of my supplies there. Amazing thick cut bacon and fresh, crusty Italian bread. I decided to make overnight baked french toast, bacon, fruit, and an assortment of Italian pastries my brother just brought back with him from Boston. (my favorite!)

So the overnight french toast…is amazing. It is my Aunt Bea’s recipe and last time I was in Boston visiting I begged her for it and copied it down on a scrap of paper that I now treasure. It is NOT healthy by any means, and I even cut down on the butter and sugar in my version, but it is SO so so so SOOO good!

Melt butter, brown sugar and cinnamon in a pan until it’s all nice and gooey.

This gooey deliciousness goes on the bottom of a greased 9×13 pan. It will get all caramelly and be an ooey-gooey topping for the french toast.

Slice a nice crusty loaf of bread.

Put a layer of slices on top of the ooey-gooey.

Did I mention the cream cheese/almond filling? No? Oh…insert cream cheese/almond filling here. And some sliced almonds if you want. (If you’re making this for Mr. Bell, or someone else with a nut allergy, skip this part, or don’t add almonds!)

Another layer of bread. Its like breakfast lasagna…mmm

A dozen eggs and 2 cups of milk. I used a mix of almond milk and coconut milk since everyone I live with is lactose intolerant and we never have regular milk. Oh I put almond extract in this mixture too.

Pour egg/milk mixture over the bread in the pan.

And its all set! Now cover it with foil and pop it in the fridge. The bread will soak up all the eggy goodness and its so easy to bake it in the morning! No prep, no dishes. Just a beautiful pan of french toast! And it is SO delicious!

Overnight French Toast Recipe
from Aunt Bea

1 stick butter
1 C brown sugar
1 1/2 T cinnamon
1 large loaf of bread; sliced (I used crusty Italian)
1 dozen eggs
2 cups milk (I used almond & coconut milk)
almond extract
1 package cream cheese
handful sliced almonds
1 cup powdered sugar

Start the day before:

In a pan melt the butter, brown sugar and cinnamon until mixed and gooey. Spread on the bottom of a greased 9×13 pan. Add one layer of bread slices. Spoon filling onto bread, sprinkle with almond slices and top with remaining bread. Mix eggs, milk and about 2t almond extract. Beat well then pour into the pan making sure to get all the bread wet. Cover with foil and refrigerate overnight.

Next Day:

Bake covered at 350 for 40 minutes. Then uncover and broil 3-5 minutes until top is nicely browned. I had to bake mine a little longer than 40 minutes because the eggs weren’t cooked all the way. Maybe an extra 5 minutes.

Slice and serve. Make sure to scoop all the way to the bottom so you get the ooey gooey goodness!

Filling:
In a mixer mix cream cheese, sugar and 2 t almond extract. Beat well. If it’s too thick add a little milk until it makes a frosting that is not too thin but easy to spread over the bread. Delicious!