Author Archives: ginamd

healing is in your hand

09 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, ,

Now by Your grace I stand
Healing is in Your hand

A few weeks ago we had a conference at our church. A man I haven’t seen in a long time approached me and asked how I was healing since the bombing and said that him and his family continue to pray for me. It always amazes me that so many people STILL pray for me. I am so blown away by this and I LOVE it. “So, you can stand?” he asked. I was STANDING there talking to him…how do you respond to that?? I couldn’t be sarcastic… so I just smiled and said “Yes, yes I can stand!” haha we chatted for a few seconds more and he walked away. I added his comment to my list of “strange things people say to you when you’ve been blown up”, and didn’t really think any more of it. Until right now.

This weekend I went to Passion City Church in Atlanta with my friend Biagio. I love Passion City and was so excited to be able to finally GO there for church! It was so refreshing. We sang this song during worship and I just started crying. What truth. Only by God’s grace I can STAND. Healing has come directly from His hand. I don’t think I have really thought about the words of that song. Like really thought about them. I know it had more meaning to me now. Now that my injuries limit my movement and walking and standing. But I do know that it is only by the grace of God that I am standing. And so yes, to the dear old man who asked me if I could stand. Almost a year after the bombing. Almost a year after my leg was almost ripped off my body. YES! I can stand! And it is only by God’s grace.

 

 

The entire service was so great. You can watch the sermon by Louie Giglio here 

Mended: Thoughts on Fear, Love, & Leaps of Faith by Anna White

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

Mended: Thoughts on Fear, Love, & Leaps of Faith
by Anna White

When Anna approached me and asked me to read her book and write a review I was so excited! I love writing reviews and love authors reaching out to me to read their new books. I love the dedication of the book “For my husband. Whose love showed me it is possible to be both broken and beautiful.” How true is that of each of us? How much is that something that I have been churning in my mind since the bombing. If not in those same words. “Both broken and beautiful.”

I love how she shared that her normal response to suffering is to withdraw. To retreat into herself. But when she suffered a miscarriage and shared her grief, wrote about it, told others about it, people rose up who had been through the same thing, who knew what she was going through, who could carry her through her sorrow and helped her heal. I can totally relate. Healing only happens when you open up, let it go, share it. It is amazing how many people will stand up and say “I’ve been there, I know what you’re going through, let me walk with you.”

Anna shares a lot about her suffering, her struggles, her growth. I feel like it all ties in. Suffering. Growth. She quotes Chris Cleave; “We must see all scars as beauty. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.”

The book reads as journal entries. Short little nuggets of life. A few paragraphs about each topic. She writes about fear, grief, love and God. He is the hope. Light in the darkness. Our perfect love.  “No matter how old we are, not matter what our deepest words are, this is what the Father whispers: You too are worthy. You too are loved. You too are precious.”

I hope if you are struggling or in a dark place you can pick up this book and find some hope.

 

What’s so good about suffering?

20 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

Sometimes it seems like pain and suffering surrounds me. Pete & Rebekah, friends from the bombing, friends going through hard times. It’s all around. My good friend Lindsay has been training to run the Boston Marathon, inspired to run after we were injured one year ago. Last week she injured her leg and continued to run on it for 20 miles. She is now on crutches, in a boot, and can’t feel her toes. (she wanted to be just like me) She wrote a great post about this experience and I just re-blogged it, so make sure you read it. But as this was fresh on my mind, I decided to keep blogging thoughts from The Storyline Conference. The first line of session three says “What’s so good about suffering?” Isn’t that really the question…

In the end of Genesis we meet Joseph. He was the son of Jacob and Rachel. He was his father’s favorite and therefore despised by his brothers. They threw him in a pit, told their father he was dead and then sold him into slavery. While a slave, he was accused of raping his masters wife and thrown into jail. Then he was forgotten in jail and abandoned by his friends who promised to help get him out. Sounds like he suffered right?

Every great story has one thing in common. Because change can’t happen without conflict, great characters always redeem their challenges. Character change can’t happen without conflict. Joy is what you experience after pain changes you. Joseph never acted like a victim. Because of this, he was qualified to lead later on. If he had acted like a victim, the end of the story would be completely different. He wouldn’t have interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams. He wouldn’t have helped prepare Egypt for the famine. He wouldn’t have saved all of Egypt and his entire family, the people of Israel. Joseph had no idea about this. When his brothers threw him in a pit and left him to die he didn’t know what God was planning. I’m sure he never thought he was preparing to be the second most powerful man in Egypt. At the end of the story Joseph tells his brothers “Do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life…to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God…As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Genesis 45:5-8 & 50:20

Suffering well doesn’t mean being an optimist about suffering. Suffering is painful, it needs to be grieved. But God can turn your suffering into a blessing. Joseph suffered so he could save many lives. So in your suffering, in the pit you have been thrown into, how are you partnering with God to save many lives? Jesus sees your pain and He wants to do something beautiful with it. Just because you can’t see the end doesn’t mean he can’t. Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaningful context. God can help you redeem your negative turns.

(not)Invincible

19 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

My amazing, inspiring, beautiful friend Lindsay who decided she wanted to be just like me and experience crutches, a boot, and nerve pain. ❤ Love you girl!

lindsaykukla's avatargloriousjoydotcom

I’m realizing that I have the really bad habit of writing as an outpour of PAIN. I guess when harsh reality comes crashing down, I don’t know what else to do besides allow the lull of the monotonous clicking of the keyboard to calm me, my emotions being sifted like the fine flour and the obnoxious clumps of cupcake ingredients.

A few weeks ago, my pastor Michael shared a story from the book of Acts. In the story, Paul and Timothy are trying to decide where to head next on their missionary journey. They head north, only to be rejected and turned back around. They head east…no such luck. Eventually, God appears in Paul’s dream, telling him to go west. I want to question: “hey, God, couldn’t you have given them a heads up before they trekked hundreds of miles on donkeys (or whatever else they road) and spent months…

View original post 1,103 more words

What would you do if you could do anything?

14 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Session 2 started out with Allison Vesterfelt asking us the question “What would you do if you could do anything?” Think about it for a while. Its a tough question. I don’t even really know how I would answer it myself. What would I do if I could do anything…

Dreaming is not selfish. In a story, great characters know what they want and they work to get it. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t be interested in their story. Who wants to read about people wandering aimlessly with no purpose or end in sight? Could the people closest to you identify what you want out of life and what you’re actually doing to get it? We were not designed to be static people, we were designed to move. If you’re life doesn’t have any direction, it doesn’t make sense. Going after what you want, even if you fail, is still better than doing nothing or being complacent. Comfort never creates good stories.

Jon Acuff shared with us that in order to have a meaningful story you don’t need a perfect vision. You don’t need to ask your adventures for details. If adventures came with details, they’d be errands. And sure, you will be afraid, but fear isn’t the same thing as regret. A life makes sense when the characters know what they want.

Donald Miller talked about God and His relationship with us. He said that God is not a controlling, dysfunctional Father. He looks at us and asks, “Hey, what can we do together?” There are times when we are waiting for God to do something and He is waiting for us to do something. When God has a specific plan, it is very, very clear. It is not vague. Sometimes he lets us decide what to do. If you’re going to start a new story, you have to say YES. Keep going through those open doors until one is closed. Keep saying yes until it’s a no.

1. Where God commands, we must obey.
2. Where there is no command, God gives us the wisdom, responsibility, and freedom to choose.
3. When we have chosen what is moral and wise, we must trust the sovereign God to work all the details together for good.

Don’t ignore your dreams! What would you do if you could do anything? What would happen if you said “yes” to something that scares you? What if you took that job, or wrote that book, or moved to that city? What adventure do you need to go on? It’s exciting isn’t it?

 

What will the world miss if you do not tell your story?

11 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

,

I am behind in blogging about my adventures! San Diego and The Storyline Conference was such a highlight of the year! (And its only March!) Visiting my friend Liza in San Francisco was a blast, and now I’m looking forward to Asheville and Peter’s wedding. I have been all over the place it seems. This crazy journey since the bombing has taken me to Kansas, NYC, San Diego, San Francisco, Boston (several times), Maine, Prince Edward Island, France, Asheville, Dallas, San Antonio, Austin… YIPES!

The Storyline conference was amazing. I loved every single moment of it. I met Bob Goff, Don Miller, and my favorite, Shauna Niequist! I learned so much. My notebook is full of notes. Full. I feel like I need to listen to all the sessions again to get my thoughts in order, but I will try to share my biggest takeaways from each session.

The first session was with Donald Miller, Randal Wallace (wrote screenplay for Braveheart), and Mike Foster (People of the Second Chance). All amazing people, all with amazing stories. They all touched on finding a deeper sense of meaning. The big question asked was “What will the world miss if I do not tell my story?”  We are all designed to experience meaning. To live life to the fullest. In order to do this, some things you need are a project that serves others, intimate, safe relationships (shared experiences), and a redemptive perspective on suffering. Suffering isn’t going to go away. When you make it through one trial there will certainly be another, but suffering is only suffering when it ceases to have a context.

We learned about redeeming our negative turns. Turning suffering into something meaningful gives it a context and helps you to see past the pain and actually learn something and grow from it. This is always so hard for me to do. It is so hard to see past the suffering to see what God is doing. Sometimes it takes years to be able to look back and realize that the hard times you were going through were actually preparing you for whatever you are currently facing. But there is always something redemptive in our suffering. Sometimes it is learning a lesson, or growing, or being able to empathize with someone else. Recognizing the redemptive turns helps give meaning to our suffering.

So the big question is “What will the world miss if you do not tell your story?” What is your suffering teaching you, and how can you make it meaningful?

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Romans 8:18

Hopes & Dreams

01 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Storyline is amazing. I’ve taken pages of notes, and I’m sure my blog posts over the next few weeks will be filled with the things I am learning. Today we heard from Donald Miller, Jon Acuff, Mike Foster, Randall Wallace (Braveheart), Allison Vesterfelt, and a concert with Ben Rector. What a day! Tomorrow is even more exciting!

So many things stood out to me, but tonight before I crash into the bed, I wanted to sit on the balcony in the cool salt air and write. Share at least one thing with you. One nugget.

Mike Foster said this: ” Hope comes from putting your beauty and brokenness together.” This jumped out to me because conflicting ideas keep popping up in my life. A few years ago I went through a really hard time and the thing that comforted me was Job 23:10 “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” (Job 23:10 ESV) and a song by Superchick, Beauty From Pain helped me to see that God can turn our negative turns into positive ones. That’s when I got the tattoo on my wrist that simply says beauty from pain.

Currently 2 Cor 12:9&10 is a verse that has been a huge comfort. In light of the bombing and all the pain that my family and so many others have been experiencing, I just love the promise these verses hold. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, 10 ESV)

These opposing forces… Beauty from pain, strength in weakness, beauty and brokenness…

Hope.

Storyline

26 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

As I sit on my first plane to Chicago anticipation is building. Ins few short hours I will be in San Diego and in two days I will be at the storyline conference! I have wanted to go to this conference for years, I can hardly believe it is actually happening. I will get to sit and listen to some of my literary heroes. People who have inspired my faith and my life. Bob Goff showed me that love should always be unconditional. Donald Miller taught me to dream and to change my story if I didn’t like the direction it was going. And Shauna niequist. She has inspired me for years. From the first day a friend handed me Cold Tangerines. Her life and stories have inspired me to live a fuller life. To work on deeper relationships with my friends and that life around the table is the best life of all. I can not wait to experience this conference.

I am hoping it will inspire me to write the next chapter of my life well. It is timely that I am going to this conference at a time in my life where my life is changing so drastically. My career is changing, where I live will change, who surrounds me is changing and some friendships are deepening and some will go away. This time in my life has been so different and so interesting. The bomb completely changed the trajectory of my path, and I know it will continue to put some twists and turns in this chapter. I am also confident that this conference will help me decide where my story goes and it will help me make the best story that I can.

I got here two days early and have been enjoying the hotel, the sunshine, and the ocean! At a friend’s recommendation, I started reading a book by Madeleine L’engle called The Rock That Is Higher. She wrote this book while she was in the hospital in San Diego after being in a tragic car accident. So far so many things she has said about being severely injured, being hospitalized for so long, and dealing with the repercussions of such a tragic accident have rung so true to my own life. I feel like I’m sitting here cheering her on and agreeing with every statement she makes and saying “yes Madeleine! I know exactly how you feel.” We would be friends were she still alive.

One thing in particular that stood out to me this afternoon in regards to forgiveness. It seems like more and more people are asking me about the bomber and how I feel towards him. Madeline’s response to the same question about the man who hit her with his truck…
“My focus was on recovering, returning to life. Come to think of it, I do not feel particularly kindly towards the truck driver who, as far as we know, still has never inquired if he hurt or killed the people In the little car he demolished. But I am happy to leave him to God. If there are lessons he needs to learn from this experience, well, he is God’s child, not mine, and it is up to God, not me, to teach him.”

So well said. That is my new response to how I feel about the bomber. In case you were wondering.

Storyline starts in the morning!!!!

France Day 7

19 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

Today we are spending the morning on the river. Slowly sailing further and further south. The sun is shining and the landscape changes more each day. More hills, more trees, olives, vineyards.

There are so many locks. Some so big. 60 feet from top to bottom. People crowd the front and back decks of the ship to watch the slow descent. It is funny that they are so mesmerizing. They are so slow and make travel seem to take forever.

 

IMG_7957

For the lazy morning, we decorated Christmas trees in the lounge. There was one tree for each group on the boat. We are in the yellow group. It was ridiculous. People were going crazy and were being so competitive even though it wasn’t a competition.

We arrived in Viviers around 2 pm, and went into the town as soon as we could disembark. The roadway to the village was lined with stately sycamore trees reaching their knobby arms toward the sun. They really are the oddest trees I have ever seen. I absolutely LOVE them!

IMG_3494It was all so old. Uneven cobblestone roads sloped upward everywhere we went. The town encircled a hillside. All the roads led up to a gothic cathedral at its very peak. We climbed slowly. With my brace it was hard for me to traverse the steep cobblestone streets, but I made it.

IMG_3590

The view was amazing. You could see for miles. Clay roofs lay beneath us. Houses dotted the hillsides. Mountains loomed in the distance. Saint Vincent’s Cathedral was built around 1119 AD. The original one was built in 475 AD, but it was knocked down and restored by Saint Venance. The cathedral’s main room had perfect acoustics. You could talk in a whisper and hear it on the other side. Since we were the only ones in the building, Kim and I sang our hearts out.

IMG_3537 IMG_3541

We walked slowly down the hill back in to the village. This town was famous for its pottery, so we visited a few pottery stores and even found some beautiful scarves at another local shop. I bought coffee mugs from a potter that were the most beautiful shape with dark chocolate and white colored glaze swirled onto them.

IMG_3577 IMG_3579 We walked back down the sycamore lined lane and sat on the front deck of the with Pete, Rebekah, Karen, and her sister-in-law, enjoying a bottle of French wine and watching the sun set over the river and mountains.

IMG_3605That evening there was a bread, cheese, and wine demonstration. French cheeses are delicious! Yum. It was so educational learning different ways to pair cheese with wine and breads. After dinner a French woman sang in the lounge. The old people danced. We sipped cocoa and relaxed on the couches. What a lovely ending to a lovely day!