From the first moment when I heard Your name
Something in my heart came alive
You showed me love and no words could explain
A love with the power to
Open the door
To a world I was made for

And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I’ll be remembering You
Oh and I’ll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing
and I’ll be remembering You, I’ll be remembering You

And I’ll watch as the sun fills a sky that was dark
And I’ll be remembering You
And I’ll think of the way that You fill up my heart
And I’ll be remembering You

This song was written for one of the Narnia movies and I love it. My favorite line is “You showed me a love and no words could explain, a love with the power to open the door to a world I was made for.” It’s so amazing to think that we weren’t made for this world! Most days I am extremely thankful for that because I don’t fit in here. I feel like such an outsider. But isn’t that what the bible calls us? Aliens & strangers?

Hebrews 11:13 …They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.

How odd that one would admit that. But here I am admitting it. I’m a stranger here. This isn’t where I belong. And someday the door will be opened into the world I WAS made for. How I long for that day. Tyler wrote a note on the inside of my Chronicles of Narnia book. I will never forget it as long as I live. He ends it by saying, “In the darkest times,, know you are loved, and made for a place such as Narnia.” I love that. And I cling to that hope. I can’t wait to see Jesus face, worship him, and spend the rest of my days forever fitting in. A world where I belong.

Narnia

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you

Don’t forget me, I begged, I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

~ Adele ~

Its been an interesting day. Events that transpired got me thinking. Sometimes things seem so crazy. Or so terrible. Or hopeless. When you are in the middle of it you can’t see a way out. You can’t see the lesson you are supposed to learn. You don’t know how this situation can EVER be worked out for good. Because its bad. It’s crushed you. Broken your heart. You were clinging so desperately to the smallest hope and now you’re dashed on the harsh rocks of reality.

But dig deeper. In what or whom are you placing your hope? Because I have found that every single thing and person on this entire earth WILL disappoint you. I think I am slowly beginning to learn, God is patiently continuing to show me that no matter where I place my hope, I will always be missing something. I will always get disappointed or hurt or angry. Unless I place my hope in Him. And it’s so hard when you are so dedicated to a cause or so in love with a person or so faithful to a friend; when you are swiftly replaced, forgotten, or scorned. It hurts. Sometimes very, very badly. But I’m beginning to see. I’m slowly learning. I need to shift my hope. As John Piper would say I need to move the bottom of my joy. The bottom of my joy needs to be Christ. My hope needs to be in Christ. I need to cling to Him, love Him so deeply and be completely faithful to him.

Then I think that when the trials come; when disappointments arise; I can have my hope so firmly rooted in Jesus that even though it still might hurt and may still be painful, I will see hope. I will see the lesson I need to learn. And I WILL see how God can work out the situation for good and for His glory.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Psalm 139:15 & 16 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When i was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. ALL the days ordained for me were written in your book BEFORE one of them came to be.

I AM the Lord your God

who teaches you what is best for you

who directs you in the way you should go

IF ONLY you had paid attention to my commands

your peace would have been like a river

your righteousness like the waves of the sea

New Year, new blog. I feel like most of last year was a blur and it went by so quickly I didn’t have time to take a breath and actually figure out what was going on. One of my best friends moved to Australia, two of my good friends got married, a few others (including my baby sister) got engaged, my grandmother passed away, my grandfather moved in with us, my best friend Liz moved home and I’m so glad, my other best friend Jeanne & her husband Ben had the most beautiful baby boy ever; Wolfgang. I fell in love, fell out of love, switched Starbucks three times, no four, stepped down from my management position, started a part-time job at my church, quit my part-time job at my church, took care of my grandma, made a set for the Christmas program, painted a ton of paintings, read a ton of books, fell in love again, rearranged my room, went to Seattle, Portland, Asheville, Grand Rapids, & Boston…ok I’m tired. You get the point. I think it’s the hardest year I’ve had yet. It was the crazy blur year. 2011. And now January is half over and I don’t know where the time has gone.

I have so many things I want to accomplish and creating and maintaining this blog is one of them! I think I’m off to a good start. So what do I want to do this year? Eat gluten-free, be healthy, paint a LOT, read all the books on my shelf that I haven’t read yet, (but I keep buying new ones so I’m sure I won’t ever accomplish that), go to Europe, get a different job (don’t tell), paint my room, then move out, (not sure how that makes sense), sell artwork, learn Italian, 3 weddings, look good in dresses for 3 weddings, make new friends, be a good friend, love a lot, visit Wolfgang a LOT, 🙂 (did I mention he’s the cutest baby ever?), and most of all I want to dig deeper in my relationship with God and know Him and know that I am using all my gifts and talents to the fullest for His glory.

So as the new year has begun, I lay some of my hopes and dreams down on the “table”. I’m so excited to see how this year unfolds and I anticipate it to be the best year I’ve had. Ever.