“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” C. S. Lewis
A friend recently asked me to make a list of all the things I am looking for in a friend and she would pray that I would be blessed with that type of friendship. Why is it that some friendships are so hard. Some require so much work and are almost to the point of being exhausting. Other friends are kindred spirits and maintaining an amazing friend relationship is almost effortless. You can be apart from them for years with barely any communication and yet when you come back together its as if you were never apart. I have friends in all spectrums of this scenario. Since the bombing I have really been thinking about which friendships I need to invest in and which ones I need to let go. Some of them are not really worth the drama required to maintain them. I have enough other things to worry about without adding friend drama to the mix. What does it mean to be a good friend? What am I looking for in a friend? What do I need from a friendship and what do I need to give?
Things I am looking for in a friend
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times
2. Values me and my time
John 15:12-14 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.
3. Honest & holds me accountable
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend…27:9 The sweetness of a friend comes from his honest counsel.
4. Fun: someone who lets you be yourself
5. No drama: doesn’t talk about me behind my back
Proverbs 16:28 A whisperer separates close friends
6. Genuinely loves me
8. Challenges me to be a better person spiritually
27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another
“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.” C. S. Lewis
9. Respects my other friends
10. Values their family and treats them with honor and respect
That’s my list so far. I’m sure it will be added to or taken away from over time. But for now, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s what I am praying for in a friend. Each of these attributes are important to me. However, I know that in pursuing friends who demonstrate these things to me, I need to in turn strive daily to be this type of friend to others. I cant expect to find friends of this noble character if I myself am not. So in addition to praying for friends with these characters, I am praying that I would be this friend to others!
Luke 6:31-34 (The Message) Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers do that.
What are you looking for in a friend?