A great friend of mine reads a Psalm every day. He reads the Psalm that corresponds with his age. So this year, for both of us, it is Psalm 32. His faith and life inspire me in many ways. He has long been an example to me of a steadfast man of God.
This morning I was having a rough time. I was frustrated about my leg and my brother called me excited about all the great things they are getting to do now that they are engaged and apparently the most famous people in the world. Everyone wants their story because its is a beautiful story about taking a horrible situation and turning it into something great. They are inspirational and they deserve all the attention and recognition they are getting. This however is sometimes frustrating for me. Because I was in the bomb too. I too deal with its effects every day. I am not begrudging them their attention and their fame. They are amazing people and they deserve every bit of it. But some days it makes me feel very small. I feel like my involvement in this story gets smaller and smaller and when people think of our family and those hurt in the bombing, Peter and Rebekah are the ones at the forefront. I am being pushed back farther and farther. I am unimportant. And then I feel bad for myself. I don’t want people to forget about me. While they are swooning over Peter and Rebekah’s engagement and marriage and their amazing story, I am watching from behind the scenes and sometimes, only sometimes I am JEALOUS.
This morning I was feeling sad. Feeling like I was missing out. Small. Unimportant. I was praying and knowing that my attitude was WRONG and that the devil was trying to bring me down and fill me with jealousy and make me miserable. So I prayed and I knew I had to open my bible and read truth so I would stop believing lies. I decided that I would do as my friend does and read the Psalm that corresponds with my age. I opened to Psalm 32.
is the one whose transgression is forgiven
whose sin is covered
is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity
and in whose spirit there is no deceit
are a hiding place for me
preserve me from trouble
surround me with shouts of deliverance
Steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous
Shout for joy, all you upright in heart!
I took a moment to be still and let it all sink in. How this Psalm humbles me! My sins are forgiven, I am blessed! God preserves me from trouble and I am surrounded with steadfast love! Fame and recognition are of no value. I only pray that I can remember these truths as I march along this road of healing. I am important in the eyes of the only ONE who really matters. He preserves me, delivers me, and surrounds me with love. That is all I really need.