Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
1 Peter 4:12&13

I’ve been home 10 days. I’ve been to the doctor 6 times. What a crazy time. Some days I feel pretty good. Some days I feel like I will be in pain forever and I will never get better. Today I walked the track at the Y for 1/4 mile and I have gotten up to 10 laps swimming (arms only, no kicking). As someone who was once so healthy and active, this can be very frustrating. I want to be on an elliptical for an hour and only be in pain because I worked so hard. I want to climb a mountain and run down the street and take my dog for a walk. I want to play piano in the band and be able to stand for two church services.

But I am trying to turn my focus around. What CAN I do today and what positive things happened and what blessings can I be thankful for?

I enjoyed church today.

Connected with some friends I haven’t seen in a long time.

The sun is shining and even though it is FREEZING outside, it is beautiful.

I am trying a new kind of chicken in the crock pot and our house smells amazing.

Brittany is coming over to hang out with me tonight.

Today’s portion of Beth Moore’s bible study was so encouraging.

I can only focus on one day at a time. I get overwhelmed thinking about all the what if’s… It is a choice I have to make every minute. To remain positive. To cling to hope. To believe God’s promises. I definitely haven’t perfected this. I definitely have spent time down on the floor crying out to God, trying to understand why I can just be healthy. But I’m learning. I’m growing. He’s perfecting me and teaching me something. And for this moment, I am choosing joy.