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Gina DiMartino

~ finding beauty in pain

Gina DiMartino

Monthly Archives: December 2020

don’t miss the magic

04 Friday Dec 2020

Posted by ginamd in Uncategorized

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Advent, Ann Voskamp, Hannah Brencher

I’m again reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. And going through Advent books by Ann Voskamp and Hannah Brencher. I know. Those don’t really relate to each other or go together but bear with me. Today in the Advent reading, Hannah was talking about not missing things in the mundane.

“Our God is a God who orchestrates redemption stories. He is constantly up to something. Where we see random days, he sees so much purpose. Where we see lines in a story, he reads between those lines and fills our days with all kinds of serendipity.” Hannah Brencher

We have to be present. We have to look up from our phones. We have to be watching. If we don’t want to miss it. How much are we missing by crashing on the couch and watching tv? This season has been hard and it has been so easy to just be numb and ignore everything. To veg out in front of the television, ignore the news, ignore the pandemic, and escape into another world for a few hours. Obviously there is nothing wrong with this. I fully support binge watching shows. Especially funny ones that make you laugh.

But now I am pondering… what am I missing out on?

Elizabeth Gilbert says; “ The courage to go on that hunt in the first place – that’s what separates a mundane existence from a more enchanted one. The often surprising results of the hunt – that’s what I call Big Magic.” I know. she isn’t writing from a Christian perspective. I’m not in any way saying that. But if you haven’t read Big Magic I do highly recommend it. From a creative/writing perspective it is an inspirational book that makes me want to wildly pursue my dreams and never look back.

Separate the mundane from the enchanted. Separate normal every day life from what God sees in between the lines. Fill our days with serendipity. Isn’t that what we are longing for? To see the world as God see it? To see the magic?

Mary Oliver, whom I have recently come to love, asks the question “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your. one wild and precious life?”

Covid has made this hard. I know. Pursuing dreams seems inaccessible. Out of reach. It feels like we have had to press pause on our entire lives. Did you think it would last this long? Did you think, oh we will have a few weeks of this, maybe a month and then we will be back to normal life? And I refuse to call this life our “new normal” because that is what they called our lives after the bombing and it is a huge trigger for me. My life after the bombing was my new normal. A leg that doesn’t work, pain, trauma, ptsd. That is my new normal. I won’t go back to how I was before the bomb. Covid will go away. There are many vaccines. In a year or two we won’t be thinking about it much. That is not a new normal. That is a temporary (terrible) trial that we are enduring, walking through to the other side.

When lockdown started it was sort of nice right? We don’t have to go anywhere. We can curl up on the couch and binge watch shows and eat whatever we have delivered to the house. And it was kind of like a terrible vacation where you didn’t know when you would go back to work or if you would, but if you forgot all of those things… It was sort of this break from the world. Right? And now we are 10 months into this pandemic and we are heading into a new year and people keep saying I can’t wait for 2021. (As if covid will disappear as soon as the clock strikes 12). Which it won’t.

My point is, it was ok during lock down to veg out and ignore reality and put a pause on your dreams. Because everything was crazy. Everything was so unknown. We had to focus so hard on just living. And NOW, it is still crazy and still unknown, but have your dreams been on pause for 10 months? Have you been waking up each day wishing it was time to go back to bed? And I am not minimizing the trial of this time. It has been HARD. But I know that I need to stop trudging along through each day just hoping to get through it. I hope we get through today, and tomorrow, and this season, and this pandemic. But when you look back on 2020 what did you do? What did I accomplish? Where was the magic? It is there if you try to see it. Make a list. Mine looks something like this…

  1. I got to really know my neighbors and develop relationships with them
  2. I spent more time with my family
  3. I got to spend months in Texas with my family there building relationships with them that have made us closer than ever
  4. I saved enough $ to buy a new car
  5. We had home church during lock down and that was such a sweet time. It was a blessing to grow close to a smaller group of people

I am trying to put things into place. I am trying to start seeing between the lines. I am trying to not miss the magic. Tell me. “What is it you will do with your one wild and precious life?” Lets go into 2021 seeing the magic. Seeing God’s hands at work. Let’s pursue our dreams as much as we can. Let’s walk into it with open hands. Pandemic or not! Let’s figure out what we are learning through this hard time and put it into words or art or music or a podcast or a blog or an encouraging conversation with a friend.

Start small. Start with a half hour a day. Open your eyes. Look around you at the grocery store. Notice other people. Look in their eyes and smile. (they can tell, even if you have a mask on I promise)

“This is a time that won’t come again. God will never duplicate it in this lifetime. And I believe he wants to show up and show off for us throughout this Advent season. [And this pandemic]” HB

So, show up. Look between the lines. Try to see what God is doing. Try to see the magic.

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

—Mary Oliver

the lonely year

02 Wednesday Dec 2020

Posted by ginamd in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

wow guys this year has just been… I don’t even know what to say about it.

2020

amiright?

Staying home, wearing masks, not traveling or seeing the people you love as much as you would like. Or at all… Working from home. Schooling from home.

COVID is affecting everyone. Obviously. But I have been thinking more and more about how our mental health is being scarred. How will we come out of this year and be able to go back into community and not be scared to be near people, or be comfortable in crowds? I was already. uncomfortable in crowds. and this has exponentially increased those fears. How have mental health concerns increased over this year? I did a little digging and here are some stats that I found.

There has been a 93% increase over the 2019 total number of anxiety screens and a 62% increase over the 2019 total number of depression screens. Over 8 in 10 people who took a depression screen have scored with symptoms of moderate to severe depression consistently since the beginning of the pandemic in March 2020. 37% of people reported having thoughts of suicide more than half or nearly every day in September 2020. 70% reported that one of the top three things contributing to their mental health concerns was loneliness or isolation.

 (Stats From Mental Health America: https://www.mhanational.org/issues/state-mental-health-america)

This pandemic is 100% affecting our mental health. Look at that last statistic again. 70% say that one of the top three things contributing to their mental health concerns is loneliness/isolation. Of course we had loneliness and isolation before covid. But the mandated distance from others has severely increased these numbers. The affects of wearing a mask and not seeing people’s smiles or facial expressions can be very isolating. Add in staying 6 ft apart, not being able to hug people, not being able to go about our normal lives, hang out with friends, eat indoors at restaurants… We are not made for this.

But just knowing that doesn’t help. The weight of balancing would you rather get exposed to covid or would you rather preserve your mental health and be in community with others brings pressure and anxiety of its own! Everyone is struggling with the balance. How do I balance being wise, smart, respectful of others, while still maintaining my mental health and community? I do not want to expose myself or others to covid, but, I do not want to neglect my family and friends and church body. I do not want to feel alone nor let others feel alone when I can comfort them or provide rest or encouragement for them.

As the winter months are now upon us and a second stay at home order could be impending. (Who knows if it will come or not.) Finding ways to remain close to others while remaining distant is a constant challenge. One that desperately needs more of our attention. The winter will be hard. I want you to know you are not alone. If you need to spend time with someone reach out to me. I have a great front porch. I know its cold. Ee can bundle up with blankets and coffee. We can face time or talk on the phone. Don’t sit there feeling lonely. Reach out to someone else. Chances are they are feeling lonely too. Let’s make the rest of this pandemic a really sweet time to get (safely) closer to the people around us.

How can we break up the loneliness? How can we spread love and joy to others? How can we create community, and closeness, and “embrace” those who are feeling alone? What are some creative ways you have found to create community while remaining socially distant? I’d love to hear your ideas!

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