I just read the last Narnia book, The Last Battle. I usually read all those books every year, and I just love the last one when they finally all get to “heaven” and get to stay with Aslan forever. This time it just really made me sad. I think since the bombing, since I am in so much constant pain, I am SO ready to get to heaven. I was jealous of all the Narnians being able to finally get to the New Narnia! What a wonderful day that will be! 

“And of course it is different; as different as a real thing is from a shadow or as waking life is from a dream…Its as hard to explain how this sunlit land was different from the old Narnia as it would be to tell you how the fruits of that country taste. Perhaps you will get some idea of it if you think like this. You may have been in a room in which there was a window that looked out on a lovely bay of the sea or a green valley that wound away among mountains. And in the wall of that room opposite to the window there may have been a looking-glass. And as you turned away from the window you suddenly caught sight of that sea or that valley, all over again, in the looking glass. And the sea in the mirror, or the valley in the mirror, were in one sense just the same as the real ones; yet at the same time they were somehow different – deeper, more wonderful, more like places in a story; in a story you have never heard but very much want to know. It was the Unicorn who summed up what everyone was feeling. He stamped his right fore-hoof on the ground and neighed, and then cried: “I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this!” “Isn’t it wonderful?” said Lucy. “Have you noticed one can’t feel afraid, even if one wants to? Try it.”
And then she forgot everything else, because Aslan himself was coming…
He said  “The term is over; the holidays have begun. The dream is ended; this is the morning.”

Lucky people! “The dream is ended; this is the morning.” How beautiful! I just didn’t know what to do with this sadness and desire, and i found myself thinking, what would David tell me I should do when I’m feeling like this? And what came to mind was “If the goal of your life is to please God, what do you need to do right now?” (Equip classes have brainwashed me 😉 And I thought, sure that’s good, please God…but there’s got to be a better answer.

What did people in the bible do when they were longing for heaven? So I started looking up verses. And I read a bunch and finally came to 2 Corinthians 5:8-9 “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him…”

And I put down my bible and said “UGH!” out loud. Haha. All that digging and searching for verses and it comes right back to David’s quote…”If the goal of your life is to please God, what do you need to do right now?” I love that I can dig and dig and still come back to truths I am taught at my church. It’s so encouraging to know that everything I am being taught is right out of the bible and so on track. I still long for heaven. I still long for my pain to go away. For my leg to be healed. To be able to walk normally and do all the things I used to. But I am trying hard to please God. Every day. And while I am longing to be “home”, I know there is a reason I am still here. 

2 Corinthians 5
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, 3 if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. 4 For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. 6 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

“All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page; now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read; which goes on for ever; in which every chapter is better than the one before…”
The Last Battle C.S. Lewis